Self-identity

What do I want to do? I have absolutely no idea. I thought I did, but after some recent events, I don't think so anymore. I don't know who I want to be, really.

I wanted to change a part of me, because I think it's essential for a person to change overtime and to grow to be a better person. Since I am such an introvert, I thought why not, I try to become more sociable and make as many friends as possible. And the only way to do that was joining club and societies and whatnot.

But here's the thing. I am all alone in this. I have not found a friend who, perhaps, share the same goal with me. So whenever I feel like doing something out of my comfort zone, I can't seemed to find a person I am comfortable with to go with me. Ironic isn't it, for me to have a goal to meet new people, but I am scared to do it alone. 

I guess I am not courageous. Maybe I am afraid of these changes as well. But I kept going back and forth about my decisions, it's getting me confused of who I want to be actually. Argh.

This question got be thinking. What do I want to be remembered for? That's right. After seeing this question, I think I may have some ideas in my head. Maybe I should put this in my phone lock screen so that I can see it everyday. 

I shouldn't let mind what other people think. If they are my true friends, they will support my goal. I shouldn't think I am a failure. If I missed an opportunity, I am sure there is another one coming soon. After all, we shouldn't stop chasing our dreams. 

And if it's fate, it will surely happen.

Sigh. Life.